Emotional Wounds

Today is the first day of Spring and I couldn’t be happier! For those of us in NYC this has been a real doozy of a winter and people are feeling a little desperate for some mild weather.  Yesterday I realized I had been wearing my winter coat for 5 months and I am so sick of it!  There have been nights in my apartment where I have heard the wind whipping through the alley of my building and I went to bed just feeling grateful to have a warm place to sleep and feeling like that was hugely abundant.  But now we get to experience the amazing abundance of Spring.  But keep your necks covered up out there!  April is the cruelest month for a reason!  Springtime colds can be avoided by continuing to keep your neck covered in unpredictable temperatures.  This month I’ve decided to write about how to handle being offended.  For some, its review, but for others we can learn how to change our perspective just a tad and learn to be big hearted forgivers and feel good about people in our lives.  Because when we feel good about people, we feel good about ourselves.  ANd when we feel good about ourselves, we enjoy abundant health.  

Did you ever walk away from an encounter with someone, whether it’s a close friend or an aquaintance on the street, and something they said just bothers you.  Why did they say that?  What did they mean by that?  Were they purposely trying to hurt my feelings?  

We can all relate to being offended.  It happens all the time and more likely than not, the offender doesn’t even realize you were hurt by their words.  In fact, I would argue that they might feel terrible if they understood the effect their words had you!  But this has been on my mind lately because I try to be a person who is not easily offended in order to maintain my own spiritual health.  Mostly because holding onto resentment blocks me from feeling free and open hearted towards people.  But also because harboring resentment chips away at my self esteem and I don’t want anything dragging me down, especially things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme.  But every once in a while, a comment will get through and hurt me so the other day I was wondering, “Why do some comments or interactions stay with me, while others seem to just roll off my back?”  That’s when the phrase, “Salt in the wound” popped into my head. 

When I heard the phrase “Salt in the Wound” I pictured a gorgeous day at the beach, maybe because I’m feeling a little desperate for some nice weather.  Have you ever had that experience when you have a cut or an injury to your skin and then when you hit the saltwater it stings? At first it stings like crazy, but after some time the salt begins to actually heal the wound.  Salt has the ability to dehydrate organisms that threaten to grow on the skin, so salt will help keep a wound from getting infected.  It’s cleansing. This led me to a truth that I believe about healing.  

We all have emotional wounds.  Some of us have covered them up with scars of indifference or denial and banished them to the recesses of our subconscious minds, but none of us got through childhood unscathed. I promise you!  It’s just an imperfect aspect of life.   It is the nature of healing that these wounds want for us to look at them.   They want to be given what  they need in order to heal so that we can become whole again.  So our subconscious minds work to bring in situations in life that force us to feel the pain that has been buried, so that THIS time we will actually identify the source of the pain and heal.  But most people don’t realize that this is what is happening.  

One example of this dynamic that I see time and time again with women who attract a certain type of man.  “I’m always ending up with unavailable men.”  Or “This one is available physically, but works 80 hours a week.” The woman will attract or be attracted to the same type of challenge in order for the underlying cause to finally be dealt with.   

So what does this have to do with being offended in casual conversation.  The offense and subsequent feelings you have about the encounter are your subconscious mind’s way of telling you that something deep within you needs healing or addressing.  Something that you have put off dealing with is being pointed out by the people you come into contact with.  The offense never has to do with them, it AWAYS has to do with you.

In other words, if you don’t have a wound and someone pours salt water on you, you’re not going to feel any pain.  But if someone pours salt water on you and you do have a wound, its going to hurt like crazy.  But the pain, if you choose to listen to it, can be a great teacher for you.  It can show you what the deepest parts of yourself are trying to communicate.  

Today’s tip on spiritual health is to monitor your offenses and then relinquish the other person’s role completely.  They have their own wounds to deal with that you know nothing about.  If you can, just give them the benefit of the doubt and focus on what inside of you needs to heal or change in order for you to feel better.  

Soon I’m going to announce an incredible opportunity for my community to finally get down to root causes of illness.  If you are a person who desires to be emotionally free and physically healthy, I just know you are going to benefit from this new offering.  I’m so excited to see huge shifts in the way people experience their lives.  Stay tuned in for upcoming announcements!  And in the mean time, get a jumpstart on spring time allergies and ailments.  You are capable for creating vibrant health in your life and I can help –  so call, text or email!  

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